simply a side salad

ava-ire:

bonus:

He’s cute. He’s tall.
He’s got gorgeous eyes.
And a stunning smile.
I didn’t say a name, but he 
popped into your head,
didn’t he?

image

bkcarib:

leannarox:

younggiftedblaq:

Dont come for Ms. Piggy unless she sends for you, Wendy.

How is it that Wendy Williams is talking to herself? Sorcery

literallysnokoplasm:

jaclcfrost:

if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners

image

yoncevevo:

nola-made-me:

yoncevevo:

teacher: you’re 5 minutes late

image

this doesn’t work with parents. my mom hung up on me before I got to the “bitch” part

you called your mom a bitch and you lived to tell the tale??

lameborghini:

beyoncyay:

lameborghini:

does anyone else subconsciously give letters and numbers a gender like 4 is such a feminine number while 9 is definitely masculine am i right and then m is a girl of course while j is a boy you get me

you might have ordinal linguistic personification

mmm sounds like a fancy linguini pasta

People run from rain but
sit
in bathtubs full of
water.
Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs)

Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you dickhead. “Oohh isn’t it funny that a person will eat when they’re hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face”

(via coolestpriest)

meladoodle:

prosecutorblackquill:

what if u woke up and ur fav fictional character was snuggled next to u and they were like “good morning”

nemo.. you cant be here.. your dad will be worried sick