He’s cute. He’s tall.
He’s got gorgeous eyes.
And a stunning smile.
I didn’t say a name, but he
popped into your head,
Dont come for Ms. Piggy unless she sends for you, Wendy.
How is it that Wendy Williams is talking to herself? Sorcery
if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
teacher: you’re 5 minutes late
this doesn’t work with parents. my mom hung up on me before I got to the “bitch” part
you called your mom a bitch and you lived to tell the tale??
does anyone else subconsciously give letters and numbers a gender like 4 is such a feminine number while 9 is definitely masculine am i right and then m is a girl of course while j is a boy you get me
you might have ordinal linguistic personification
mmm sounds like a fancy linguini pasta
in bathtubs full of
Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs)
Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you dickhead. “Oohh isn’t it funny that a person will eat when they’re hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face”(via coolestpriest)